Always in my heart

Caleb,

I was cleaning some things up today and found the small pewter heart I bought for you last year. You were having such a hard time adjusting to school and didn't want to be away from me. (Of course, we know the reason for that now, but didn't at the time.) I bought the heart for you so you could keep it in your pocket. That way, whenever you started to miss me, you could reach in your pocket and hold the heart. It was to remind you that you are "always in my heart."

I remember one morning we left the house without it and you didn't even want to go in the building without it. I had to promise to go right home, get it, and bring it right back to you before you would even attempt to go to class. I don't know if you knew this, but instead of going home, I actually went back to the store I'd gotten it from and bought 5 more of them. I kept two in the van so if I ever forgot it again, I could just grab one of the extras. I also gave one to Mrs. Wilson to keep in her desk for you.

We visited the school during your treatment one day, and she told me that every time she opened her desk drawer and saw that heart it reminded her to say a little prayer for you.

Somehow, all the hearts managed to become misplaced. When I found this one today, I actually smiled. It didn't make me sad to remember. This is the first post I've written in months where I wasn't crying.

Now, this heart represents something more than just me reminding you that you are always in my heart. Now, it reminds me that I am always in your heart as well. I can hear you and Jesus saying, "You are ALWAYS in my heart." Thank you for the reminder.

I love you.
Mommy