Today...

Three years ago yesterday....

• Caleb spent his last day in the sun. He practiced throwing a baseball in preparation for opening day of baseball. He played with sidewalk chalk with Caden. It was a great day.

Three years ago today...

• Caleb left home for the final time. He couldn't speak any longer. He wasn't eating. He wasn't able to swallow his meds any longer. 
• We were finally told there was nothing more they could do to help. We were told to "make him comfortable for the time he has left," which was anywhere from 4 days to 4 weeks.
• Caleb entered the hospital, at his request, for the last time. We would be there until he died. He never slept in his own bed again. He never saw his dog or cat again. He never saw his best friend again.
• He never left that blasted hospital bed again.

I've been by myself during the days this week because Caden's been spending time with G-ma for spring break. I've actually kept pretty busy and have been doing okay. Until today.

Today:

• I can't stop thinking about Caleb, no matter how hard I try.
• I cry for the child we've lost and the man he will never become.
• I weep from memories of his final days.
• I laugh while recalling wonderful memories of his entire life.
• I pray for a cure for all kinds of pediatric cancer so no other parent has to endure what we have.
• I HATE what cancer did to our little boy and how it has impacted our family.
• I LOVE that Jesus is now taking care of him.
• I LOVE that Jesus continues to comfort us and change us, for the better.
• I LOVE that, one day, I WILL see Caleb again.

Tomorrow...

• I don't know what tomorrow holds, but I do know Who holds tomorrow. And I am thankful for that.

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We still miss Caleb every moment of every day. He is always in our hearts, always in our thoughts, and is loved today, tomorrow, in ALL ways to infinity and beyond.

Angel, Richard & Caden