Happy 15th Birthday, Caleb

My world changed the day I became a mom. Tonight at 9:21 pm marks 15 years since Caleb Michael Huffines took his first breath.

I was so blessed to be in the delivery room when he was born. I cut his umbilical cord and he chose that moment to relieve himself as he peed all over me, the doctor & the nurse. I was excited and terrified at the same time. I didn't know how to be a mom. I wasn't sure I would even be a good mom. All I knew was there was this tiny human depending on me for everything.  

I watched him grow, develop and change so very much during his short time on Earth. He grew from a 6 lb 4 oz infant to a 5-yr old little boy who weighed nearly 90 lbs at his death due to the steroids being used to help him. He changed as much in the last 5 months of his life as he did during the first 5 years of his life. It was like watching his body regress to infancy while his mind stayed as sharp as ever. He learned to talk, walk, and eat on his own then lost those abilities again near the end. 

I've highlighted some pictures of him that show how much he changed. My favorite one of these is the picture from December 2010 with Caleb and all of his siblings - biological and adopted. None of the kids were aware of it at the time. It would be the only picture we would ever have of all 6 of them. 

Caleb would be a sophomore in high school this year. I wonder what he would look like and what his interests would be. I think about all the things that should have been. But, I can't change what is. He is gone and all I have now are memories. There are a few days a year where missing him is almost unbearable, and today is one of those days. Instead of celebrating his 15th birthday with him, we are remembering his birth without him. We'll have fried shrimp, french fries, and pineapple upside down cake today in his honor. I'll cry and I'll laugh as I think about him today. 

Happy birthday, son. I hope you have a wonderful birthday in Heaven with all your relatives that are already there with you, including your biological half-brother and your Uncle Terry. Until we meet again.

#HappyBirthday #CalebIsMyHero #MissedAndLoved #ToInfinityAndBeyond 

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We still miss Caleb every moment of every day. He is always in our hearts, always in our thoughts, and is loved today, tomorrow, in all ways to infinity and beyond.

Angel & Caden